An Alert for a Misuse of My Writing

My collage from the former site, Polyvore

I offer an alert that my words were recently included in a pointed post about certain individuals and specific churches. I requested this not be done, in this manner. My request about my own words was not honored. My work was taken and my intent disregarded. When I asked for it to be removed, I was told no.

My aim in writing about former experiences regarding Tom Chantry, his prosecution, and ARBCA is to care for survivors, and encourage love and restoration where possible. Within that process, there is a naming of infractions, but it is not my position to attack or dictate a church's response. Any criminal infractions I hope will be dealt with in the courts.

I live with the belief that each one is striving to do right. We make errors. We hurt people, sometimes horrifically. And then we own those acts, carry the penalty, and work to restore. We can help each other do this.

I am sympathetic and grieve with those hurt by this man co-opting my work. Lorie Ann Grover

Between Convictions: Tom Chantry and ARBCA

Illustration created with the former site, Polyvore

Following two convictions of assault, Tom Chantry has been found guilty of four charges of molestation. What can be done as another survivor awaits Chantry's next trial with nine counts? The Association of Reformed Baptist Churches of America released their statement following the most recent verdict. I have seen the outrage regarding it and have been turning over my own thoughts as a former member of an ARBCA church where Chantry attended and preached. How can we love and care for each other well?

First, we affirm. I affirm children deserve to be protected and heard within a church. Parents deserve the same. Members ought never be told to not read and educate themselves.

Second, survivors must be heard. ARBCA can listen to Tom Chantry's victims. They can hold the pain and anger of each one assaulted.

Third, we confess. ARBCA can confess these things, as a start:

1. being complicit in assault and pedophilia
2. not believing, protecting, and nurturing victims
3. misleading parents
4. covering the assaults
5. giving refuge to the pedophile
6. welcoming him into a new church community without disclosing his crimes
7. exposing further children to assault
8. exposing the congregation to Chantry in the pulpit
9. labeling molestation as spanking
10. sending Chantry out to work in an elementary school
11. ordaining him to preach and lead another congregation
12. welcoming that church into ARBCA
13. taking the stand in the courtroom against the survivors
14. continuing to refuse to comfort and make reparations to the survivors
15. encouraging current church members to not read and educate themselves about the matter
16. ignoring all of the proceedings and judgments and continuing on as if nothing has happened

There is a time to plod on, and there is a time to stop. Stop and hold oneself accountable. Listen to the survivors. Be transparent, confess, make reparations where possible, and commit to protecting the ones who can't protect themselves. Love.

Judged an Angry Woman

My collage on the former site, Polyvore

It was recently concluded by some not currently walking beside me, that I have anger issues and need anger management therapy. It is interesting the persons are concerned about my anger and not Tom Chantry's angry felonies of physical assault against children, or his upcoming molestation trials. So, I have a few thoughts.

1. Women may be angry and express themselves in healthy ways. It is acceptable, as it was in the Women's March. Children may be angry and express themselves in healthy ways. It is acceptable, as it was in March for Our Lives. (It is a given in our society and already acceptable that men may be angry and express it.)

2. When I see the vulnerable oppressed and outcast by the powerful, I will be angry. This is compassion and full of light.

3. When I experience anger, like any other emotion, I acknowledge it, hold it, and it passes.

4. And then I act to help rectify the situation. Anger over injustice can fuel action which moves toward ending suffering and oppression. One may resist, run, seek help, listen, speak, support, march, litigate, legislate, paint, write, or more.

Emotions are part of humanity. They give a richness to life. We don't need to fear them. We don't need to hide, bury, or be ashamed of our emotions. We can hold each one, watch it pass, and compassion bloom.

For those who feel free to label me an angry woman, I challenge you to sit quietly. Remember what it was like to be seven years old. Now think of an esteemed adult who held the power in your life. Imagine that person assaulting you and telling you that if you tell anyone about your pain and fear, you will go to hell. Imagine your terror.

I can only hope you are moved to anger. Now, open yourself to compassion and act for another. 

Tom Chantry Trial and ARBCA Coverup

I write through life to understand and find truth. As I craft my memoir, the following experience crossed up and out of the pages of my experience. Here are my thoughts and current conclusions.

VerdeNews, Aug. 18, 2018 "Throughout the trial, the Association of Reformed Baptist Churches’ investigation into Chantry’s misconduct was mentioned. During that investigation more than 20 years ago, nothing was reported to the police. Tuesday, Judge Astrowsky warned both counselors to not derail too much into ARBCA as they are not being tried in this case. 'If this were a trial of ARBCA, they’d be convicted,' he said. 'But that’s not what this trial is about.'"



This man, Tom Chantry, whom County Prosecutor Susan Eazer called a "sick, twisted, pedophile," ran from the church he pastored in Prescott, AZ, to my congregation where I attended for thirty years. There, not knowing his charges, he was welcomed, sat among us and our children, preached, and was sent on with blessings to work in an elementary school and eventually pastor another church in Wisconsin.

The Association of Reformed Baptist Churches of America investigated Chantry's crimes in AZ, sealed their findings which included his "punishing children for his own pleasure." They created a second, modified document and shared it with victims' parents. A criminal offense was committed when the police were not notified of Chantry's crimes by the association.

Illinois police have a documented case of physical assault against a five year old in the elementary school Chantry went to following his time in our congregation. The coverup enabled more victimization. 

I was told he was running from a misunderstanding: "It was just spankings." I was told, "He just needs a wife." 

The jury found Chantry guilty of two counts of physical assault. He was determined not guilty of molesting a four year old and not guilty in one count of assault. The four counts of molestation will be retried. It was originally reported one juror, with a prejudice against victims, falsely gained entry onto the jury and created the hung jury/mistrial. As well, AZ law does not consider rubbing the bare bottom of a child a sexual assault. I find this unbelievable.

Chantry has committed and been convicted of felonies. This is not "just spankings." He is not a saint suffering for upholding the Bible and the discipline of a child. He is not a Joseph, falsely accused and imprisoned. He is convicted, with more convictions possibly in the future.

I grieve for the victims who will have to once again take the stand. I'm thankful the prosecutor has not grown weary. I watch for civil suits to follow and more victims to possibly come forward as justice is restored. The State's Attorneys Office for Yavapai County, AZ is planning to prosecute the men in ARBCA who covered up the crimes.

So what do we need? We need to educate churches and leaders to care well for the victims of assault. We need a heart for the victims, an upholding of their value and worth. We need to listen and offer all resources for recovery. Along with justice, we need help for the perpetrators, so often victims themselves. There is no room for nepotism, denial, covering, or the end justifying the means. There is no room for error as these are souls, made in the image of God, and they have been hurt and are hurting. There is no room for silence.