Judged an Angry Woman

My collage on the former site, Polyvore

It was recently concluded by some not currently walking beside me, that I have anger issues and need anger management therapy. It is interesting the persons are concerned about my anger and not Tom Chantry's angry felonies of physical assault against children, or his upcoming molestation trials. So, I have a few thoughts.

1. Women may be angry and express themselves in healthy ways. It is acceptable, as it was in the Women's March. Children may be angry and express themselves in healthy ways. It is acceptable, as it was in March for Our Lives. (It is a given in our society and already acceptable that men may be angry and express it.)

2. When I see the vulnerable oppressed and outcast by the powerful, I will be angry. This is compassion and full of light.

3. When I experience anger, like any other emotion, I acknowledge it, hold it, and it passes.

4. And then I act to help rectify the situation. Anger over injustice can fuel action which moves toward ending suffering and oppression. One may resist, run, seek help, listen, speak, support, march, litigate, legislate, paint, write, or more.

Emotions are part of humanity. They give a richness to life. We don't need to fear them. We don't need to hide, bury, or be ashamed of our emotions. We can hold each one, watch it pass, and compassion bloom.

For those who feel free to label me an angry woman, I challenge you to sit quietly. Remember what it was like to be seven years old. Now think of an esteemed adult who held the power in your life. Imagine that person assaulting you and telling you that if you tell anyone about your pain and fear, you will go to hell. Imagine your terror.

I can only hope you are moved to anger. Now, open yourself to compassion and act for another. 

Tom Chantry Trial and ARBCA Coverup

I write through life to understand and find truth. As I craft my memoir, the following experience crossed up and out of the pages of my experience. Here are my thoughts and current conclusions.

VerdeNews, Aug. 18, 2018 "Throughout the trial, the Association of Reformed Baptist Churches’ investigation into Chantry’s misconduct was mentioned. During that investigation more than 20 years ago, nothing was reported to the police. Tuesday, Judge Astrowsky warned both counselors to not derail too much into ARBCA as they are not being tried in this case. 'If this were a trial of ARBCA, they’d be convicted,' he said. 'But that’s not what this trial is about.'"



This man, Tom Chantry, whom County Prosecutor Susan Eazer called a "sick, twisted, pedophile," ran from the church he pastored in Prescott, AZ, to my congregation where I attended for thirty years. There, not knowing his charges, he was welcomed, sat among us and our children, preached, and was sent on with blessings to work in an elementary school and eventually pastor another church in Wisconsin.

The Association of Reformed Baptist Churches of America investigated Chantry's crimes in AZ, sealed their findings which included his "punishing children for his own pleasure." They created a second, modified document and shared it with victims' parents. A criminal offense was committed when the police were not notified of Chantry's crimes by the association.

Illinois police have a documented case of physical assault against a five year old in the elementary school Chantry went to following his time in our congregation. The coverup enabled more victimization. 

I was told he was running from a misunderstanding: "It was just spankings." I was told, "He just needs a wife." 

The jury found Chantry guilty of two counts of physical assault. He was determined not guilty of molesting a four year old and not guilty in one count of assault. The four counts of molestation will be retried. It was originally reported one juror, with a prejudice against victims, falsely gained entry onto the jury and created the hung jury/mistrial. As well, AZ law does not consider rubbing the bare bottom of a child a sexual assault. I find this unbelievable.

Chantry has committed and been convicted of felonies. This is not "just spankings." He is not a saint suffering for upholding the Bible and the discipline of a child. He is not a Joseph, falsely accused and imprisoned. He is convicted, with more convictions possibly in the future.

I grieve for the victims who will have to once again take the stand. I'm thankful the prosecutor has not grown weary. I watch for civil suits to follow and more victims to possibly come forward as justice is restored. The State's Attorneys Office for Yavapai County, AZ is planning to prosecute the men in ARBCA who covered up the crimes.

So what do we need? We need to educate churches and leaders to care well for the victims of assault. We need a heart for the victims, an upholding of their value and worth. We need to listen and offer all resources for recovery. Along with justice, we need help for the perpetrators, so often victims themselves. There is no room for nepotism, denial, covering, or the end justifying the means. There is no room for error as these are souls, made in the image of God, and they have been hurt and are hurting. There is no room for silence. 

Rose of Jericho, a Resurrection Plant

My dear friend, Christie Waldron, brought me a rose of Jericho, a resurrection plant. What joy to see the symbolism of this beauty. From Wikipedia:

S. lepidophylla is noted for its ability to survive almost complete desiccation; during dry weather in its native habitat, its stems curl into a tight ball and uncurl only when exposed to moisture.

Truly, #beautyallaround and, "There's hope. Look."

Lovely, Dark, and Deep: Justina Chen

The beautiful dedication, a treasure

So how does it go when your bestie is asked by Scholastic, Arthur A. Levine Books, to write a story of a teen living a sun-limited life when you yourself, a YA author, have lupus? How is it for your award-winning YA author bestie who has walked beside you in the dark for years to write the work?

It is strange. Justina Chen has completed the beautiful Lovely, Dark, and Deep while I am working on my own memoir which will share life with multiple autoimmune diseases, including lupus. As Justina's book launches, I have not yet begun to write a YA novel featuring the journey of a teen with lupus, or RA, or Sjogren's. I'm still living the experiences and gathering meaning, but I wholeheartedly celebrate Justina's work. Here are four quotes I gathered while thinking through the experience:

One

With rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and Sjogren’s syndrome among my autoimmune diseases, I am not defined by them, not denying, praising, or damning them. I am here looking for light and being filled.

Two

I hope the beautiful Lovely,Dark, and Deep shines into the darkest corridors readers pass through.

Three

As I complete my memoir, it was fascinating to have Justina, who has walked so lovingly and faithfully beside me in the dark, write about a teen adjusting to a sun-limited life. Justina is Zoe Washburne to my River Tam.

Four

It is imperative health care is available to all. Medications for autoimmune disease have exorbitant costs. Prices can prevent one from living and contributing to society with full potential. We can’t leave anyone in the dark alone.  

Godspeed to Lovely, Dark, and Deep. May it alight in the hands of beloved readers and spark.

"A luminous read that will rekindle your faith in the indomitable human spirit." -- Matthew Quick, author of The Silver Linings Playbook

Lovely, Dark, and Deep

by Justina Chen

Arthur A. Levine Books, July 31, 2018

Dear Starbucks: Gold Star Marketing

In a world seeking light in the midst of lies, corruption, famine, and natural disaster, this pales, but I'm taking a sec to note it. This recent email is not helpful. In the least, it is not socially responsible marketing:

YOUR STATUS HAS CHANGED. 

YOU'RE BACK TO GREEN.

Since you didn't collect 300 stars in 12 months, you're at the green level again and your star count has been set to zero. 

You say I am no longer a Gold Star Member. You label me Green. I will buy coffee when I choose to buy coffee. This only makes me not want to buy coffee at Starbucks. I reject your label. I wish I had noticed this when you designated me Gold.

Yes, I wrote a book with the former President of Starbucks, Howard Behar, titled The Magic Cup. But I'll see you when I'd like to. Apparently, you can't see the gold star stuck to my forehead. I put it there, and you don't get to take it away. My status hasn't changed.

Roll your eyes, but rethink this marketing message. 

Lorie Ann Grover

#wordsmatter #Starbucks

Dry Eye: Solutions, Part Seven, True Tear

I tried a device called True Tear, that I wanted to share. It relies on neurostimulation. Essentially, it fits up your noise, zaps the nerve at the top of your nasal cavity which in turn makes your eyes tear.

It doesn't hurt, but it may be a tad uncomfortable. Side effects can be headache and nosebleeds. The cost for me was $1,200 with $100 new tips needed each month. Neither is covered by insurance. The aim is to replace the use of artificial tears. 

I'm returning the device within thirty days of purchase for a full refund as I didn't find my eyes were able to tear with Sjogren's and my past cancer treatment. Other people are having success though. Here are more details. 

Article

Video

Dry Eyes: Part Six, TearCare

So, I had a new procedure added to the effort. In living with lupus, Sjogrens, and RA, I tried out TearCare by Sight Sciences for dry eye. This was similar to LipiFlow, but I found faster results. 

After the sticky tabs heated, the doctor then used little metal tongs with flat ends to squeeze my oil glands. It was uncomfortable, at times painful, but the result was worth it. As a test subject, I wasn't charged, but the procedure may end up being about $1,000 or so. I expect for it to be repeated as needed.

I recommend this. Specialty Eyecare can help you out. Onward!